My son’s favourite songs at the moment are songs from Frozen 1 and frozen 2 and thankfully I rather like them myself because we listen to them a lot!!!
One of the songs is called ‘Fixer upper’. That’s a bit how I feel about myself…… I’m a bit of a fixer upper!
Some of the lyrics include …
‘so, he’s a bit of a fixer upper
So, he’s got a few flaws
Like his peculiar brain, dear
His thing with the reindeer
That’s a little outside nature’s laws
So, he’s a bit of a fixer upper
But this we are certain of
You can fix this fixer upper with a little bit of love.’
This song has got me thinking…. Firstly the line ‘like his peculiar brain, dear’, I’m not saying I have a peculiar brain (although some of my friends might called me weird!) but I do have chemicals lacking in my brain. My body doesn’t create enough serotonin or as it is sometimes called ‘the happy chemical!’ This means for a number of years I have been taking anti-depressants. But every now and again I think ‘I don’t want to be a fixer upper I want to be fixed!’ And therefore am tempted to stop taking them. Sometimes its because I want to punish myself because I am still a fixer upper and mess up. Sometimes it because I am ashamed of the need to take them and want to see if I can fix myself.
But a couple of weeks ago due to an error I went without my anti-depressants for about 10 days. And boy did I feel it…. turns out I can’t fix myself, I do need the anti-depressants to help. I can’t even begin to describe the difference between the Laura without anti-depressants and the Laura with. I need to learn and believe that it is ok to be a bit of a fixer upper, it’s ok to not be ok, it’s ok to take anti-depressants. Yes it is not only anti-depressants that help; eating well, sleeping well, exercising all contribute but the reality is I need anti-depressants and that is ok!
The other line that got me thinking was ‘you can fix this fixer upper with a little bit of love’. Let me tell you the person who fixes me up with his love is Jesus! My friend was talking about me to another friend and said ‘honestly I think she would be dead without her faith’. That might seem extreme but I too think it’s true. Knowing Jesus makes all the difference in my life. Knowing I am made in his image, knowing he has a purpose for me, that he is with me has a profound impact. He is the one who is fixing me up. Am I there yet?….. certainly not! But I am as the bible says ‘being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory’ (2 Corinthians 3:18) and when Jesus comes again I will be complete.
Billy Graham’s wife has on her grave stone ‘construction complete… thank you for you patience’. This really struck a cord with me and I think I need to be a little bit more patient with myself. I am under construction, I’m not there yet but I’m getting there and Jesus loves me and is there for me here and now even while I am under construction!
You might feel like a bit of a fixer upper too, you might feel like you are under construction, well let me tell you Jesus’ passion is meeting up with fixer uppers, he is in the construction business! Jesus said ‘It is not the healthy who need the doctor but the sick.’ I totally believe that Jesus can make a difference in your life that he meets you wherever you are in the construction process and that he can fix you up like he does me with his amazing love!