I’ve been meaning to write another blog post for a while… so here it goes….. Saturday 15th Feb was a triple celebration: my birthday, the day my son officially became a Moncaster, and my cousin’s wedding which I was officiating at and F was a page boy (he stole the show!).
On reflection the day brought up many emotions and feelings that weren’t right to show on the day…. So I’m expressing them now…..
Firstly where has this year gone with F?! He has come on SO far and seeing him walk down the aisle throwing petals with my gorgeous niece made me so proud and privileged that God entrusted me with this little boy’s life.
But there is absolutely NO way I could have got through this year without my family and friends! I like to see myself as ‘superwoman’ and at times struggle to ask for help but this is something that I am learning to do!
At the wedding I asked the family and friends of Emma and Paul whether they would support them in the good times and bad to which I heard a massive, ‘We will!’ Now my friends and family might not have been asked the question directly but through their actions F and I have ourselves heard a gigantic, ‘We will’.
During the address I mention emperor penguins (which are mine and my cousin’s favourite animal…she copied me). Emperor penguins endure the harshest of winters. How do the do this? By supporting one another. They take turns to be in the middle of the huddle to get warm and then go on the outside to let others go and get warm. Like penguins we need each other and need to be brave enough to let people know when we need our turn in the middle of the huddle. So be brave and say ‘help’ when you need it!
At the wedding to help the couple (hopefully) remember some of what I said I give them presents; one of the presents was penguin related, the second one was a Marvel action movie memory game. You see the words ‘I love you’ are lovely to hear but they are not enough. To love is to feel and act lovingly. Love is a feeling that expresses itself in action. When the bible talks about love, most of the time it is the verb not the noun. It is talking about love as an action.
I told the couple that what will make their marriage is those acts of love even when you are not feeling that much love towards one another! F and I are so thankful that our family and friends haven’t just loved us with words but with actions as well!
The other point I made during the address was that their marriage has to have a good foundation. For this, I gave them a CD by “The Foundations’, anyone heard of them?! Now many might think I told them that their love for each other needs to be the foundation of their marriage but this I did not! I told them this …
‘I believe that God’s love for you individually is the foundation you need to build on. According to my Auntie Ang, Emma had a teddy that she was given when she was born that is still on her bed today. Now that teddy I’m sure doesn’t actually have much value – it might make 50p in a boot-fare but that teddy’s value comes from the love and worth that Emma gives it. It is the same for you, Emma and Paul. Your value and worth doesn’t come in what you do, or how much you have, or how good you look (although you do both look great today!) Your value comes from who loves you, and I believe and know God loves you and it is in this that you find your worth.
Many of you reading this (if you got this far) know I am single and have been for pretty much 34 years. If a movie best represented my life ‘Never Been Kissed’ would be up there 🙂 ! I go through patches where I get a little bit sad and think ‘I really want a husband’ and don’t get me wrong (Mum) I am open to the idea , and got upset to think my Dad will never walk me down the aisle BUT……
The foundation for my life will never be a husband, it will never be my job as a minister or even being a good mother. The foundation of my life is knowing that I am valued and loved because God loves me.
If ever our world needed this message, with news of celebrity suicides, surely it’s now. So please believe me when you read this….. God loves YOU. In that is your value and worth. Learn to say ‘help’ when you need it (God gave us each other), and each day do little acts of love to those around you.
